This was about the time we first started talking one year ago. It seems forever, especially when the memories come flooding back. It’s funny how someone can miss something that was never really there. I’m constantly reminding myself that you are a human being; another boy in my life that ultimately decided to leave. I’m accustomed to this type of treatment, but I strongly believed you were different. Silly, immature me. I’m trying so hard to forget you, seeing as how you can’t even remember to spell my name correctly. Was I really that unbearable?
It was summer. The best summer of my life. I, being the wimp I am, continue to cry over such insignificant memories of you and I. I’m fed up with myself and how I can’t delete every trace of you. It was easy for all of the others, and I thought this was going to be SO much easier, I really did. I don’t understand why you were the one to impact me so much and transform my perspective on life. You showed me things I never thought existed in a million years.
I guess I was just that easily replaceable. I mean, there are billions of other girls you can have out there- and that’s just what you did. You took advantage of the distance and the fact that I was just another girl that you had hooked. The worst part is that for the small time allotted, you were everything; you were perfect and different. You kept your promise, but it only lasted thirteen months. I saw you four times. I guess it wasn’t really going to work out in the first place. I’m still dead. I’m never, ever going to forget you. Honestly. I will try, though. You can bet I’ll be attempting to think of you as a mere person who exited my life in not such a graceful manner.
Here’s what to do:
- Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
- Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
- Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
- Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.
When we tell you that you’re pretty, beautiful, cute… we do mean it. Don’t tell us we’re wrong or we’ll stop trying to convince you. Most guys believe it or not look for what’s inside, that matters most to us. When we go on dates let us pay for you and don’t feel bad about it, we truly enjoy taking you out. It’s also expected so just smile and simply say, “thank you.” Guys like holding hands and hugs just as much as girls do even if you don’t think they do. You don’t have to get dressed up for us. We like you for who you are and not what you are. Fuck the media and the girls you see in the magazines, they are not real. A good guy will try to get you to smile when you’re at your lowest. We aren’t mind readers so let us know what’s on your mind. Reality check, love is not like it is in the movies so don’t use that as a model. Do not try to be anyone but yourself, you’re perfect the way you are. Last but not least if we hurt you we never meant it.
This song, although composed mainly of amazing harmonies and melodies, brings me back to you. Always. It’s funny how I do particular things to myself in order to remember you as opposed to forgetting you. Why? Because forgetting you would be the uttermost horrible thing I could do to myself. I already know you’re onto bigger, better, and brighter opportunities in life; you’re maturing into the person you’ve always wanted to be. You’re happy. I, on the other hand, have grown to be incredulously pessimistic and complacent. And honestly, I believe you know that it’s all your fault. You can go ahead and think that I’m being such an underclassmen, but in reality you had such an immense impact upon me; you will NEVER understand how much you meant-and still mean- to me. Never. And all I ask for you is to continue our friendship instead of cutting off all ties. I assume that simple task is much too difficult for you. My mistake, sorry for believing we could actually keep in touch. You’re 2,000 miles away. Of course I’ll miss you. And the fact that we couldn’t trust each other from that far away scared me; I know now, however, that I’m better off without you. This song made me realize that happiness occurs at a price; you’ve forgotten me in a matter of seconds; thrown away everything we ever had for a stereotypical girl that only exists in your mind. The idea. The mere idea of her, yet you had to find her in the most horrible human figure. I’ve now realize that I’m going to learn from this experience. Hopefully I’ll become stronger. If not, I’ll continue to keep thinking a certain gender is all the exact same.
La joie de vivre.
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